DAY 11

I think the first time I felt like an adult was when my oldest child turned 13 and became a Bar Mitzvah,in 2001. (15 years after I was married!) We threw the party at our home. I saw to each and every detail myself.I prepared all the food, designed the invitations on my computer, hired what turned out to be a crappy DJ, flowers, table settings, wine...etc. My husband surprised me and rented a silver PT Cruiser. When I got into the car all dressed up, with my family of boys looking spectacular, it hit me! I AM THE MOTHER OF ALL THESE PEOPLE~MY HUBAND IS TAKING US TO TEMPLE FOR OUR SONS BAR MITZVAH!!! I remembered going to my brothers and all my cousins parties~we used to have such fun!! And even though I didn't feel the time passing, it surely did because here I was, not totally excited about hanging out and partying, but on the verge of joyous tears (which I did shed profusely during the service)and somber, for all the people who wouldn't be there, but happy and proud. There was alot of strife when my husband and I got married, not alot of people thought we would get to where we were~but there we were and I will never forget that ride as long as I live~I left my home still a young girl in my head, but by the time we got to Temple I had become a woman. Mind you, while this epiphany took place my children were in the back seat screaming at my cousin, who was following us. She was on her cell phone and there was a policeman behind HER! I remebering them screaming over and over~GET OFF THE PHONE! Funny how the memory works sometimes...but I digress, which I do alot~My point is that I have only felt like an adult for 9 years,so why are things starting to happen to me that are indicating I may be headed toward middle age!?! How can that be? It makes me wonder about my Grandmothers~I don't have a mother to ask so I do alot of wondering...and badgering my BFF! Do all women see signs of age long before we ever get old? Is a 90 year old woman really just 30 inside her head? I look in the mirror and I am often startled, I do not feel like the woman that I see~I told my husband the other day that somewhere inside of me there is a Demi Moore waiting to get out. I don't mean that because she is hot, I mean it because she is tall, lean and has long hair and she was on the TODAY show and I blurted it out while we were having coffee. I feel young and yet I have been asked when out with my youngest if he is my Grandchild!! #*#@!! I don't see that person or feel like that person and yet all signs are pointing in that direction. Will have to ponder my denial for awhile...but I have also made a doctors appt. to ask somebody more knowledgeable if I am headed "over the hill" so to speak!
On the business side of things...I have sent out a follow up on a dinner party, after alot of coaxing from my business parnter~I come from the "I don't want to bother them" way of thinking and she ~thank G-D~comes from the "Go out and get 'em" line of thinking. Happily I recieved a polite response from the client instead of a buzz off~I'll let you know when I am ready...I have started working on a couple of orders and at the risk of giving away more food I have decided to take a sample tray of truffles to the doctors office on Friday.I have NOT handed out any business cards this week OR made a flyer yet OR checked into the website that was suggested to me last week~maybe I will make a things to do list...I am also hoping by next week to have a few pictures ready to post on here. All in all not too horrible, but not 100% either.
Well the kids are home, my train of thought is gone. It is time for dinner, homework, baths and stories~hopefully to bed a little early...
THERE ARE TRUFFLES TO ROLL TONIGHT!!! ;-D